He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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