Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
