I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize