I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
