can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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