i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
