i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
