i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize