We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
