you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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