if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
