hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
