talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
