Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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