he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
