the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
