Little spoons don't ask big questions
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize