Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
