I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
