I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
