Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
