New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
false alarm. still invincible.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
