I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
