So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize