I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
