Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
