Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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