u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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