You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
