Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
