So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
