your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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