good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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