I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize