Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
