Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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