he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
