If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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