Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize