haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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