This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
