We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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