it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
