dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
