So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
