Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
