the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
