Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize