The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think weed is turning my hair brown
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
