You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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