this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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