You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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