nut hugger
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I need moral support for this bender
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
