Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
