No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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