I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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