How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
