So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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