Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
