At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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