she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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