is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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