Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
