i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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