And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
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