So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
