Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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