I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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