please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
