Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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