do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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