Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
