HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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