WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
