if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
