i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
